The Eyes Have It

Nostalgia is a thing. I’m not going to lie. Looking back is something we all do at one time or another just to figure out what´s ahead. (Maybe that’s future nostalgia?) It might sound contradictory, but in hindsight, it makes all the sense in the world. 

From introductory relationships with your grandparents to the building blocks of time with our parents to finally starting a life with someone whom you never saw coming... From our childhood to our school days and then into early adulthood, we can find ourselves enamored by someone and then, finally, in love with that one and only. I can’t help but reflect on all those moments when I felt love wrapped up in the glance of one of God’s angels. 

Many of you have heard of the first meeting between my wife and myself, but for those who haven’t... It happened on a bright Tuesday morning in September 1963 – the first day of my sophomore year in high school.  

Only God could have planned our meeting so perfectly.  

She and her cousins had moved during the summer from the city (Downtown Charleston) to West Ashley. While I was harassing her cousin, she came over to ask him a question and then left to rejoin her new neighborhood friends while waiting for the first bell.  

With his admonition still in my mind, I processed through the day’s classes till fourth-period Algebra. There, sitting toward the back of the class, was the same beautiful girl who had smiled at me earlier that morning through the most incredible green eyes I had ever seen. I could write volumes of pages between here and there. But I won’t bore you with the romantic minutia. 

Suffice it to say, I still am made weak in the knees when she smiles at me with that twinkle in her eyes. 

The years passed; we married; I was drafted and processed to Vietnam. Between my first and second deployments, my wife and I spent about five months in California until my next assignment came. It was during that time we received word that our first son was due. My heart rose and fell with the news because I wouldn’t be back in time for his birth. I had to satisfy myself with the reality of our friends being in place with our families when the time arrived for his birth.   

John was delivered after many long hours and he still had enormous obstacles to overcome. He came home after two months in the ICU with countless years of hard work ahead to achieve “normalcy.” He was not deterred. One of those moments came after several medical procedures and the efforts of medical professionals whose care and concern brought him to the fitting of his first pair of glasses.   

Fast forward... 

He was five when we took him to the optometrist to see how his newly prescribed glasses fit. He clung to his mom while the technician worked the frames to hug John's tiny face. We had seen the development of his eyes over the years from dark orbs dilated to let in as much vision as they could to the pretty pair of olive-brown eyes that lit up when he was able to visualize images along with everyone else. Nothing could have prepared me for that moment when his glasses fell perfectly in place. He turned to the sound of my voice and saw me fifteen feet away. He saw clearly enough to wonder why his dad was crying. A real sight for sore eyes. 

You may be able to appreciate how life came into view for John starting with those glasses.   

Fast forward again...   

To almost ten years to the birth of our second son, Brandon, and an era of constant bright-eyed experiences for our family. 

The moments surrounding Brandon’s arrival were remarkably more normal and positive than those his brother had experienced. With John’s first visit to see his mom and his new brother, there came another milestone. John was allowed to sit in the bedside chair and hold his brother. His eyes were not big enough to take in Brandon, metaphorically speaking. He  marveled at how small his brother was, the size of his feet and hands, the whiteness of his hair and the blue of his eyes. The smile on John's face during that moment is a forever treasure.   

The bond between them has only grown. It became a long line of special moments because everything Brandon saw John do became a goal for him to achieve. As Brandon aged, John’s daily lessons and his treatments only provided Brandon with other examples for him to imitate.  He wanted to be just like his big brother.  

John’s swim lessons morphed into lessons for him. John’s homework was duplicated from a differing angle. John´s positive study regimen led Brandon to approach his lessons with a positive bent. 

Brandon couldn’t see any obstacle too big because he saw his brother challenging himself to do everything he was presented with. His eyes were opened to do what others would find daunting.  

He practiced John’s homework from the other side of the desk (literally learning to read and write up-side-down). He practiced piano while John took lessons in the music department at Charleston Southern. He auditioned for movie roles with his brother and had the good fortune to interact with several actors and actresses before setting his own direction.   

I could go on and on...  

Because both Jeannie and I are so very proud of both our boys. God has richly blessed our family and continues to open our eyes to the richness of those blessings. The truth of the matter is, I wouldn’t have been blessed with all this without my incredible wife, John and Brandon’s mother. Seem apropos for this week, right? 

To all our dear friends, to our beloved family and to you, our loyal followers, we wish you the happiest of Mothers’ Days. We hope you see all the blessings that are yours to behold. 

~ David Joyner 

An (Extra) Ordinary Love

Depending on your age, the concept of celebrating an anniversary floods the senses with a myriad of images that range from the mundane to the ephemeral. Many well-known, overused phrases from the husband caught in that instant the wife asks, “Honey, what did you get me for our anniversary?” to the trend-setting, budget-busting, movie-scripted soiree talked about on the society pages for ages to come to the forefront of my mind.

The other side of the anniversary celebration deals with the original moment being celebrated and the person or persons involved. The common idea immediately brought to mind is a wedding celebration. So common is the theme that there are lists involved which tell us what the gifts for celebrating should represent. Silver, gold, and diamonds are the most obvious images that jump out. Paper, wood, and cotton don´t elicit shrieks of joy when the parties start for the first, fifth, and second commemorations when those get-togethers are held.

Wedding anniversaries are the most commonly celebrated, and they provide the benchmarks for all long-lived marriages, but they are not necessarily the most meaningful events that are cause for remembrance. Life has those moments that provide common ground for conversation amongst family and friends that sometimes make those special moments even more deeply felt.

I would suggest to those who know me and my lovely wife and our sons, that the heart and soul of any celebration here revolves around a profound understanding that none of the traditional themes enjoyed could be had without having made a conscious and very personal decision related to faith and spirituality. All the other decisions thus build on that foundation. Looking at life through that filter brings a

certain meaning to the most important decisions made after that. I, for one, am convinced that faith has painted our lives with brilliant and deeply saturated colors which make our celebrations more exciting and meaningful regardless of the theme or the number of years past.

So, you might be surprised to see the tears flow when invited to celebrate the day Jeannie and I met, or the day she said she would go steady, or the day we were married, or any of our birthdays (especially the boys), or the day John got his first pair of glasses, or Brandon graduated from kindergarten after learning to tie his shoes, or so on. A lot of love has been shared here by family and friends.

The memories from those years bring tears of joy as we light the candles on the cakes designed for the occasion at hand. Typically, we gather in a circle around the bar in the kitchen, share thoughts and jokes about the time gone by, and then a prayer of thanks for all those here and gone and the joy each brought. This year is our 53rd Anniversary and I am moved by the totality of the moments and the memories that have made those years so full. It is somewhat appropriate that all the charts claim paper as the representative image of this anniversary because this blog is my digital dissertation in its place. My wife and sons, our family and friends – these are the gifts that bring me the true feeling of blessedness one hopes for when celebrating all our special moments.

Yes, anniversaries around here are a big deal and so are the celebrations that go with them.

For those wondering – 73, 53, 50, and 40. Also – first Tuesday after Labor Day, December 22nd, and March 22nd.

Thanks, and praise for all those days.

~ David Joyner

The Love Bug

Love?  

What’s love?  

It means a lot; makes me feel happy and exciting and joyful. 

When I was younger, I didn’t have that much... No one in church really, but in school... I had a couple little girlfriends. Tasha was my first one... There was Laura and Angie... I had one in particular... it was Tammy.  

We dated.  

We went to the beach and we went to the fair. When we went to the beach, we talked and played in the sand and the ocean. And at the fair, we went to a Louise Mandrell concert. And, after a while I didn’t keep up with the dating part that well.  

We didn’t really keep in touch because we moved and went separate ways. She was my last serious girlfriend. But, other than that... I haven’t had much luck with women now and finding the right female. I’m still searching... can’t really figure that out. 

I’m not sure, I’m still I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. 

Showing love? You give them gifts or presents. Like if someone gets married, this shows love... it’s the person like and never want to spend a day without them. 

There’re different types of Love. Besides romantic love... There’re plenty of other ways that I love. I love family and friends. I don’t know what other kind of love I can give you... OK—here they are: 

Valentine’s Love – It's a time where you can give somebody something. Like soft (stuffed) animal or candies. And flowers as well... my favorite type of flower I don’t have a favorite, but to give fore Valentine’s day... red rose would be one of them.  

And type of candy? Chocolates!  

For the animals, a toy dog or twin kissing bears. Also, some soft music... that’s what I do. Romance Music, like Kenny Rogers and Lorrie Morgan and different love music.  No, actually, um... I listen to something Bobby Vinton “Roses are Red.” My favorite love song is very hard to pick...  

When Valentine’s Day rolls around, the first song I want to listen to is “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain” by Willie Nelson. 

Romantic Love – Same thing I was talking about earlier... there’s a difference from just Valentine’s Day... it’s more than a crush. You tell someone how much deeper you feel about them. You can watch movies and see this love; like Sleepless in Seattle, Runaway Bride, French Love. 

Wedding Love – You tell somebody you love them. You get down one knee (I guess... no, I’m right on that one... yeah!) - you tell them that you love them, “Will you such and such (fill in the blank, though), Will you marry me? (That’s how you propose to them), you will probably shock them... they might be surprised (and hopefully they’ll be happy and say YES). And then, you KISS them! Other people will then congratulate you. That’s when the wedding happens. 

Anniversary Love – Then, after the wedding and reception... comes the Anniversary (or as Brandon likes to call it... “Your time served.”) Every year you’ll celebrate your anniversary. Well, I don’t remember... cause I’m not married. But, I’m sure there would be a celebration. I’d take ‘em out. To a fancy restaurant or an outing like somewhere downtown or vacation somewhere. 

Friendship & Family Love – Friendship love. Family always like my brother and parents and sometimes my grandparents and aunts and uncles and my cousins. I show my love by hugs and general love... that kinda thing. Friends, oh... you just um hug ‘em and talk and hangout... spend some time with them. 

Soul-Mate? Do I believe in it? Yes. Am I looking for one? What am I looking for in one? I don’t know... Well, my perfect person... for me—who's nice, kind, and beautiful, who you want to share your life with and who you want to live with and wants to do/like the same things I do... like this person would like country and not just such and such... this other person likes something and I won’t like something—it's not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just different. 

Is it hard or easy? It depends on who you like... that’s the hard part. 

I don’t have any more thoughts on love... not to my knowledge... Just that I’m still looking. And, this: Anyone out there that’s still looking for love... keep trying. Don’t give up. Whenever you might least expect it, true love might come along! 

All the Wrong Moves

My father was a practical joker. If he had an opportunity to play a joke on someone, he would. I've already written blogs on some of the crazy shenanigans he has pulled! 

My mom would get so upset with him. 

But did he ever stop? Absolutely not!  

We lived in downtown Charleston close to King Street when I was in elementary school. My mom's best friend, Louise, came from a family of six girls. And when Louise’s younger sister, Annette, wanted to move to Charleston from Kingstree, S.C. - to get a job on King Street - it was suggested that she move in with us for a while to save money. It was settled. She would do just that.  

Annette got a job at one of the dime stores on King Street so all she had to do was walk a few blocks to work. 

At that time, the kinds of jobs that most of the young people would apply for during the summers or before they were getting ready to go off to college were at stores such as Woolworths, Kress, and Silver’s - small mini-department stores, predecessors of today’s Belk’s. 

Annette was a feisty, beautiful, young woman with long dark hair and had no problem attracting the opposite sex. She was fun-loving and she and my mom were always laughing and having a good ole time. 

Like I told you before, my dad was always up to no good; and with Annette living with us, that just gave him another person - another opportunity - to pull off one of his practical jokes. 

Annette had met this gorgeous, tall, blonde, blue-eyed hunk and he had asked her out on a date. Annette, playing hard to get, put him off for a while before she finally agreed to go on a date with him. 

Annette had come home from work to tell my dad that she had accepted a date with this guy. 

“Ed [as she always called my dad] I have a date on Saturday night at 7:00 o'clock. He's taking me to dinner,” she said. 

Big mistake!  

The wheels in my dad's head started turning. 

Saturday night rolled around and Annette had taken all afternoon to get ready for the date. And she really was excited! She had been thinking about it all week. 

7:00 P.M. rolled around - no date. 

7:05 P.M. - no date. Annette was a little antsy but maybe something had just delayed him. 

7:15 P.M. -- 7:30 P.M. -- 7:45 P.M. - by this time, she was boiling mad. 

“If he thinks he can stand me up like this, he's got another think coming.” 

And, my dad was just making everything worse by talking about how wrong it was for her date to stand her up like that. 

7:55 P.M. – knock, knock. 

“Ed,” Annette said to my dad. “Someone's at the door. Ed?” 

No answer from my dad. 

So, Annette had to go to the door. 

She flung the door open and there standing with the biggest grin that you ever saw was her date. 

He started to say how excited he was that she was going out with him. At that point, she slammed the door in his face so hard that the windows rattled. 

In that instant, we heard a little snickering of laughter coming from the entrance to my dad's bedroom. Annette turned around to look at my dad and at that point, he burst out laughing. 

 “Ed,” Annette shouted, “What did you do? What did you do?”  

He confessed to turning the clock back an hour, so in reality, this poor guy was really five minutes early for their date - not an hour late as Dad had led her to believe.  

By this time her face was beet red. 

“Oh, my goodness,” she said as she ran to the door. She threw it open and there standing just where she had left him was her date with the most puzzled look on his face that you had ever seen. 

She grabbed his arm, trying to pull him into the apartment, with him hesitating a little, not knowing what was going on... 

“Ed,” she exclaimed, “you tell him exactly what is going on - exactly what you did, or I'm going to kill you.” 

My dad came over to Annette’s date, shook his hand, and explained everything. At that time, we all had a good laugh. 

What a way to start a date. 

From then on when Annette had a date coming to our house to pick her up, she carried the clock around with her and never let it get out of her sight until time for her date to arrive. 

Would you EVER trust someone who did that to you? 

Who’s got the time?!? 

~ Jeannie Joyner