The Eyes Have It

Nostalgia is a thing. I’m not going to lie. Looking back is something we all do at one time or another just to figure out what´s ahead. (Maybe that’s future nostalgia?) It might sound contradictory, but in hindsight, it makes all the sense in the world. 

From introductory relationships with your grandparents to the building blocks of time with our parents to finally starting a life with someone whom you never saw coming... From our childhood to our school days and then into early adulthood, we can find ourselves enamored by someone and then, finally, in love with that one and only. I can’t help but reflect on all those moments when I felt love wrapped up in the glance of one of God’s angels. 

Many of you have heard of the first meeting between my wife and myself, but for those who haven’t... It happened on a bright Tuesday morning in September 1963 – the first day of my sophomore year in high school.  

Only God could have planned our meeting so perfectly.  

She and her cousins had moved during the summer from the city (Downtown Charleston) to West Ashley. While I was harassing her cousin, she came over to ask him a question and then left to rejoin her new neighborhood friends while waiting for the first bell.  

With his admonition still in my mind, I processed through the day’s classes till fourth-period Algebra. There, sitting toward the back of the class, was the same beautiful girl who had smiled at me earlier that morning through the most incredible green eyes I had ever seen. I could write volumes of pages between here and there. But I won’t bore you with the romantic minutia. 

Suffice it to say, I still am made weak in the knees when she smiles at me with that twinkle in her eyes. 

The years passed; we married; I was drafted and processed to Vietnam. Between my first and second deployments, my wife and I spent about five months in California until my next assignment came. It was during that time we received word that our first son was due. My heart rose and fell with the news because I wouldn’t be back in time for his birth. I had to satisfy myself with the reality of our friends being in place with our families when the time arrived for his birth.   

John was delivered after many long hours and he still had enormous obstacles to overcome. He came home after two months in the ICU with countless years of hard work ahead to achieve “normalcy.” He was not deterred. One of those moments came after several medical procedures and the efforts of medical professionals whose care and concern brought him to the fitting of his first pair of glasses.   

Fast forward... 

He was five when we took him to the optometrist to see how his newly prescribed glasses fit. He clung to his mom while the technician worked the frames to hug John's tiny face. We had seen the development of his eyes over the years from dark orbs dilated to let in as much vision as they could to the pretty pair of olive-brown eyes that lit up when he was able to visualize images along with everyone else. Nothing could have prepared me for that moment when his glasses fell perfectly in place. He turned to the sound of my voice and saw me fifteen feet away. He saw clearly enough to wonder why his dad was crying. A real sight for sore eyes. 

You may be able to appreciate how life came into view for John starting with those glasses.   

Fast forward again...   

To almost ten years to the birth of our second son, Brandon, and an era of constant bright-eyed experiences for our family. 

The moments surrounding Brandon’s arrival were remarkably more normal and positive than those his brother had experienced. With John’s first visit to see his mom and his new brother, there came another milestone. John was allowed to sit in the bedside chair and hold his brother. His eyes were not big enough to take in Brandon, metaphorically speaking. He  marveled at how small his brother was, the size of his feet and hands, the whiteness of his hair and the blue of his eyes. The smile on John's face during that moment is a forever treasure.   

The bond between them has only grown. It became a long line of special moments because everything Brandon saw John do became a goal for him to achieve. As Brandon aged, John’s daily lessons and his treatments only provided Brandon with other examples for him to imitate.  He wanted to be just like his big brother.  

John’s swim lessons morphed into lessons for him. John’s homework was duplicated from a differing angle. John´s positive study regimen led Brandon to approach his lessons with a positive bent. 

Brandon couldn’t see any obstacle too big because he saw his brother challenging himself to do everything he was presented with. His eyes were opened to do what others would find daunting.  

He practiced John’s homework from the other side of the desk (literally learning to read and write up-side-down). He practiced piano while John took lessons in the music department at Charleston Southern. He auditioned for movie roles with his brother and had the good fortune to interact with several actors and actresses before setting his own direction.   

I could go on and on...  

Because both Jeannie and I are so very proud of both our boys. God has richly blessed our family and continues to open our eyes to the richness of those blessings. The truth of the matter is, I wouldn’t have been blessed with all this without my incredible wife, John and Brandon’s mother. Seem apropos for this week, right? 

To all our dear friends, to our beloved family and to you, our loyal followers, we wish you the happiest of Mothers’ Days. We hope you see all the blessings that are yours to behold. 

~ David Joyner 

A Work of Art

This blog is the first one of the New Year, so Happy New Year to all of you who are reading this! Having my son as the editor in chief of these blogs (ramblings as Brandon might refer to them) is both good and not-so-good. He tirelessly performs all of these tasks that his mother and I have convinced ourselves that we can’t do because of the technology involved (Thank you, Kristen, for being the fingers to his drive). Trying to complete this task is a struggle for Jeannie and me. She feels like she is imparting a part of her soul when she is writing these. And, being the private person that she is, she finds it hard to put the words to paper that satisfy her. Those of us who have read all of her blogs find them completely refreshing and fun. I, on the other hand, have the problem of being too long-winded. So, thank you, Brandon and Kristen, for accepting the task of editing my “task.”

What do you see in a pile of random stuff that in and of itself appears to be of little use or value? Things like a bucket of mud, a batch of assorted sized sticks, scraps of wood too small to build something with, measures of cloth that remain from multiple usages—all these things and more in the hands of someone with vision and understanding become works of art. These works become valued by others for their beauty that originated from that very vision and understanding.

I have had the life-long blessing of being married to Jeannie—an artist of remarkable talent. From the beginning of our relationship, her ability to transform the ordinary into a masterpiece has always been amazing to me. Like most people, I have my own concept of art. That’s all well and good, except that it takes a dramatic amount of time for the image in my mind to become reality. This is in contrast to my wife’s incredible ability to almost instantly see and create that work of art.

I love the beauty my wife creates, both in life and in her artwork. It’s amazing to see what Jeannie can do for dinner when she looks in the pantry and pulls out just a few items to make a grand dinner for the family. This talent undeniably translates to her use of paint and fabric and all of the other mediums that she works with. Having been with her since we were teenagers, I’ve had the pleasure of being witness to many projects throughout the years.

My memories of her first pieces of art go back to us working with young people in the churches we’ve attended. Getting a young person to exhibit what they feel by utilizing the materials given to them is most gratifying when they complete that shoe-shine box out of mere scraps of wood or turn a sand dollar into a beautiful Christmas ornament after having dyed it in tea or coffee or present their parents with a very special painting that is “hand-done” on a simple piece of cloth.

I cannot remember what got us into the very first shop, but one of our acquaintances saw something that Jeannie had created and asked her if she couldn’t replicate those things for her boutique. This led to our involvement with many art shops and stores. And thus, Designs from Our House (and our ceramics venture) was birthed.

She took sewing during middle and high school and developed a deep love for her own designs and sported them throughout her formative years. When John and Brandon came along, she continued this craft, making beautiful smocks to lederhosen, Halloween costumes, and everything in between. Jeannie continued creating clothes and costumes for all of the church productions.

The first time that I can remember a costume other than for church was for Little Shop of Horrors when she painted a bloodied tooth on the back of my dentist’s smock. She also did my costumes for the other

5 characters that I played in that show which led to her involvement with Midtown Theater as the Costume Designer/Wardrobe Mistress at Footlight Players. She’s created so many dazzling and colorful arrays of clothing fit for any Broadway production, I can’t even remember them all (Into the Woods, RENT, Forever Plaid, Charleston Southern University’s lyric theater productions, the College of Charleston Madrigal Dinners, and all of Brandon’s shows; productions from just a one-man show to a stage full of 50 plus performers).

There was one time a request was made for an extravagant 60th birthday celebration for a much “Larger Than Life” birthday present (12x12x8 feet). Not to mention the Living Models for various events around Charleston, for the Charleston Food & Wine Festivals-- a table girl with Seashells, a Fountain Dress girl with Cocktails, among others-- A Martini Boy bathtub, a living installation of the Son of Man for an event at the Gibbes Museum of Art, and many more.

I can go on and on about my wife’s floral arranging abilities which have flourished for many years not only in the church but also at many weddings in and out of town as well as demonstrating her talents at The Greenery Florist downtown. One cannot look around our home without seeing her fingerprints in literally everything in our house, from table cloths and drapes to pillows and chairs and plates and glasses and ornaments galore.

And so, Such & Such was the natural progression of sharing her talents, her designs, her ideas, and her art with the entire world via the internet. I love her art so much, as do her family and friends, that we couldn’t just keep it to ourselves. And she loves to share it with everyone. From Los Angeles to Chicago, Ohio to Kentucky, Washington State to Florida. Her art is enjoyed by all of U.S.

Our very first meeting was far too short, but the most satisfying part of that meeting was looking into her green eyes and watching them sparkle. That has never changed. You hear all the platitudes about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Couple that with the eyes are the window to the soul. I think that’s what thrills me when I see something that she has finished for the first time or the hundredth time. Every single piece is a hand-painted, new and beautiful creation. The ability to translate what she sees to the gift that you might receive is the key to why I not only love her art but also why I love her. If you ever have the chance to engage her in conversation about what she does, you’ll find that same thrill that I did from that very first moment.

~ David Joyner

Dear Mama

“An embarrassing story about mom? I have no embarrassing story about mom. No, wait a minute. I don’t think I have one.”  

[“Are you sure?”] 

[John ponders...] 

“Um... No, I’m sure!” 

I like Mom. We have a good time. We always give her flowers for Mother’s Day-special flowers even when it’s not Mother’s Day - or stuff for Easter or Christmas. 

Mom and I share things like movies and music and food and fun! 

We always ask her what she wants for dinner or lunch or breakfast or like a snack and where to go out to eat after church on Sunday... For her birthday, sometimes we take her out and get her something special... California Dreaming is a place I like to take her. 

And her food—I enjoy her cooking—she's got some good recipes. My favorite food that I don’t normally eat would be her macaroni and cheese. And, after Thanksgiving (and her dressing) I love to eat her Chicken [Turkey] Rice Perlot... 

We watch movies together sometimes, but there isn’t a specific one that we watch together. Sometimes Mom likes to go to movies, she sometimes watches Action, some Comedy, but not Scary; well, sometimes the Black and White scary, like Alfred Hitchcock...   

We go all over together. Places like Florida and the mountains and we have a lot of fun. 

What makes her special to me? I ask myself that same question, why’s mom special? Because she’s my mom... 

She’s nice. She’s fun. And, sometimes she’s a little bit shy, as usual—and the reason I say that is because she doesn’t really have anybody to talk to or really talk in general. She’s kinda like me. 

Mom picks out the best clothes for me. She’s got style.  

If I hurt myself, she bandages me up. 

Special-wise— again, she's my mom! 

And, sometimes we talk... if I’m sad or have a problem or depressed or just want to talk. I try to get out of depression sometimes. I talk to her and it feels wonderful when I talk to her. When I’m sad we go for a ride and we always go downtown to the Battery. It helps me get out of the sad spirit. Mom lifts my spirits! 

She’s the only mom I’ve got! And I love her because she’s my mom! 

[Whether John does or doesn’t have a tale or two... we’ll never know... cause ultimately, it’s just between him and Jeannie – his mom!] 

~ John Joyner

Forever Young

They say that only death and taxes are certain but without getting into politics, I would claim that there is a third thing available as long as we each are alive - birthdays. We can make claims to the contrary as regards the number or the date, but the truth still prevails.  

My lovely wife has long held the belief that her birthday is her business and hers only. We all know the fallacy of that position with the multitudes of required signatures and birthdates needed for federal forms, hospital forms and applications for virtually anything else. 

She has often baffled questioners by giving only the month and the date when asked so that they don’t do the math and compute her age. 

We celebrate Jeannie's birthday as boldly as she will allow but always with purposeful intent and love for this remarkable lady. Her special birthdays are slightly more celebrated than those in between (as per her request), but there have been notable exceptions - her 16th specifically. We obviously go back a long way.  

This was the first of her birthdays we celebrated together, having started going steady in late December 1963. She had not had the chance to explain her position on birthdays and parties at that point. I was happy that her special day fell on Sunday that year because she turned “Sweet 16.” It allowed for a party with our good friends after youth group on Sunday evening, so I had someone get her cake and had it brought to the house where we met so she wouldn't know till we all got together. 

Christmas past allowed me to get her very first charm bracelet. And, for her April birthday following, I found her first special charm to christen the bracelet - a cash register with a drawer that opened revealing my heart. 

Now I had no idea the damage I had done to this very shy, beautiful, young lady by exposing her to such a large spotlight of attention that included the comedy of opening multiple boxes one inside the next, each one wrapped but smaller than the next, until she reached wit’s end and finally revealed the gift. 

She was such an incredibly lovely mix of expressions and emotions ranging from anger to laughter, to tears and sweetness. 

Over the years I have attempted to replicate that first birthday celebration with a modicum of success, but always with the knowledge that she would be as gracious and thankful as she was at 16. 

The time and place, the number of guests, and the size and value of the gifts were different as befit the birthday being counted, but our joy and love were always the same - knowing that we were with those we loved, sharing that love and being thankful for the opportunity. 

So... happy birthday my little calendar girl.  

You'll always be my “Sweet 16.”  

Love always, David