I've Got a Fast Car

I prefer to drive to get places. Mom and dad normally drive.

My favorite family car was red. But not red outside... it was gray outside. The inside was actually burgundy. It was a 4-door. We had it for a long time. I have fond memories of taking vacations in it. It was fun for me. There was a lot of space, a lot of room and I could move around.

My Dad tells me it was a Monte Carlo.

Right now, we have a red car with a gray interior... a Toyota Rav-4. I like it. It’s comfortable and I have space for my wheelchair when we go on trips.

When I go to EPCOT, I love riding Test Track because I have the ability to drive a car without feeling like I’m hurting anyone. If I could have or create any car in the world, I would make it like the cars I make in Test Track at EPCOT!

What kind of car? A small one is what I’d choose, but I’ll settle for a big car... I could go for like a silver van.

Color! That’s the first thing that comes to mind when someone says, “Car!”
What kind of car, what color car? If I could pick any color of car I would have a purple car—dark purple like a plum!

Wheels: black tires with white trim on the outside.

Rims: Oh yeah, you gotta have the rims! Mine would be solid chrome spinners. Don’t forget the tools to hold it on—the bolts!

Lights: You have to have lights on the front of the car... not just the headlights, taillights and brake lights! I’d have red lights in my silver grill on the front... but no other lights on the back [except for taillights]. I can see the neon purple illuminating from the undercarriage of my car.

As for the Trim—I think I see a little white trim on the purple.

I’ve got a sunroof that goes the whole way so people in the backseat can see outside too—the sky and the trees and the sun and the moon! Like James Cordon’s in his Carpool Karaoke episodes!

On my fashion plate (‘cause I wouldn’t have a normal TAG), I’d have... cause it’s gonna be funny...  PPL ETR. (A big, ole Purple People Eater.)

What does it run on? A re-chargable battery; that way I don’t have to worry about running out of gas and paying that high dollar price.

Since I can choose my own logo and hood ornament, I would pick a unicorn.

What’s my favorite Movie car? That’s a hard question... not only those [movie] but also TV cars!

I know there’s the James Bond Car—the Aston Martin DB5 (from Goldfinger), Kit (the Night Rider car), the Batmobile—the ‘66, a tin car... the Dukes’ of Hazard Car—Gen. Lee, the Starsky and Hutch Car with the Red Hood. OH... and the black car from Smokey and the Bandit. There are so many cars, but these are the main ones.

Have I ever driven? Yeah, I have... there was this one time... where I was behind the driver’s seat. I was very careful.

We were in a parking lot-- it was Dad and my brother, Brandon, and our friend, Kristen. It was fun.

Was it scary? It was a little bit.

But not as much scary...

Moreso... fun!

~ John Joyner

Nautical Nonsense

Our son, John, has always been a “fish” in the water. He was never afraid to just jump right in. That's a good thing because I've always been afraid of the water. My mother would never let me go past “ankle-deep” at the beach because she swore that I would drown.

How much fun is that when everyone else is splashing in the waves having a grand time and I'm stuck in the “shallows?” I was never allowed to go to the beach with other families either… only my mom. So, my trips to the beach were very limited.

After we married, my husband and son, John, would spend a lot of the time at the beach with me-- making up for lost time! I did not want to pass along my fear of the water to my children. We would spend the warm days at Folly Beach and go down to the Coast Guard station where there were lots of gullies. When the tide went out, these gullies were great places to relax and float. The sun would heat up the water so it would reach a glorious “spa-like” temperature.

We would spend hours in the gullies. My son has cerebral palsy and did not walk until he was three years old so to be in the water and be able to move about so freely was something he loved. On this particular day, my husband, myself and John were relaxing in the gully and all of a sudden, I could not see John. I jumped up, ran over to where I knew he had been and there beneath the water, eyes open, looking all around, he was crawling along the bottom of the gully…

Not in a hurry…

Not panicking…

Not swallowing water but holding his breath.

I reached down to grab him out of the water when my husband said, “don't touch him! Let's see what he's going to do!”

My heart was pounding in my chest. The both of us just stood there and watched… and watched! Every now and then (it seemed like an eternity to me) he would come up for air, and go right back down and continue crawling, eyes open, just looking around, as he traveled the length of the gully. That was the strangest thing we had ever seen.

But he was so happy.

We had a pool at the apartment where we lived. It had a very deep end and a shallow end of about three feet. Crawling in the gully was one thing but going into the deep end of the pool was another. At this point, John had not had any swim lessons at all. Remember I said he was a fish? Well, this particular day at the pool he decided he was going to jump right in and he did...

Into the deep end...

Couldn't touch bottom...

Grabbed a deep breath...

Slowly sank to the bottom (with eyes open) and with both feet pushed off the bottom, he came right back up to the surface. And did it all over again. So, he realized what he could do to “drown-proof” himself. It was amazing to watch.

Another time my mother was visiting us and I decided to take John over to the pool. Taking John to swim was a good idea. Taking my mother was another thing altogether. We got settled pool-side and John jumped right in and I thought my mother was gonna have a stroke. John went straight to the bottom and my mom started yelling. I tried to explain to her how John handled the deep end but without much success. She jumped up, grabbed her belongings and made a “beeline” to the apartment and said she couldn't watch that!

And she never did again.

Anytime we mentioned swimming and John in the same sentence she would make an excuse as to why she couldn't go!

We DID give our children swim lessons and we DID let them go on outings with other families but I can honestly say that every time they went without me, I could hear that little voice in the back of my head say, “Don't go past ankle-deep or you will drown!”

~ Jeannie Joyner

The Great Outdoors

I am not a person who enjoys camping!

Repeat... I am not a person who enjoys camping!

I cannot survive without my TV, AC or hairdryer. So, when it was suggested that we all go to Dewees Island to camp for the weekend, I was so excited... NOT!!! But with all our friends going then it would have to be fun, right? How many things can go wrong on one short weekend?

We all boarded the cabin cruiser and headed over to the island. I'm so experienced—did I think to take water or proper food or anything that resembled a “survival kit?” No! Surely, I could buy food somewhere. I think we ate potato chips and marshmallows the whole weekend. My cousin was smart enough to carry one of those expandable water containers so we did have enough water for everyone.

Getting off the boat: we pulled up to the shoreline. All well and good - except - jellyfish everywhere. “I'm not getting out of this boat with all these jellyfish floating everywhere,” I hollered. My sweet, “knight-in-shining-armor,” husband got out of the boat, picked me up in his arms (he now he has a bad back), and carried me to shore. He was stung three times by those annoying jellyfish... But I was fine!

Pitching the tent: what a disaster that was. We all jumped in to help but we never really completed the task. The tent was so crooked that if we had had any breeze, the tent would have blown away. It stood long enough for us to sleep in it one night but you should have seen it the next morning. Sad!

Going potty: I guess we never really thought much about where we would potty.  Nighttime came upon us and my friend said she had to use the restroom. Ha! Where? My husband told her to walk down the beach a good distance away and take care of things. There were bushes along the beach. Surely, she would find one to go behind. She walked off.

A moment later... Scream!

“What the heck was that all about?” I said. She came running down the beach toward us.

“You never told me about all the fiddler crabs, Blue Crabs, Etc that I had to deal with in the sand!” she yelled at us. “I thought for sure one was going to bite my butt!” I'm not sure if she ever went to the bathroom that weekend.

Looking for firewood: the fellows, being the macho men that they were, left to collect firewood. It was dark by now and we needed a fire. That task should be easy, right? They had been gone a while... we were wondering what had happened to them when we spotted them coming from the interior of the island.

Not much firewood I noticed.

The guys were laughing. The story goes they were walking all through the brush scouring for firewood (not seeing a tent in the distance). All of a sudden, a dog started barking and growling. The owner, not expecting to encounter anyone else on the island, threw open the tent flap to check on the dog. One small problem, the man and woman on the in the tent we're naked. And what made it worse was the bright light that was on inside the tent!

Oops!

So, you see folks, never assume anything. The guys are still laughing about that to this day.

Leaving the island: one minor problem- when we anchored the boat, we had not noticed how close we were to the shore so, when the tide turned, it left our boat high and dry. Great! We'd already collected all our gear, tent, food (junk food) and were ready to board. We put all the supplies on the sand, sat down, and stared at the boat. Did we look stupid or what? So, for the next four hours, we had to wait for the tide to come in so we could leave. So - four hours later - and with David carrying me to the boat through the jellyfish so I wouldn't get stung, we boarded.

I didn't even ask how many times he was stung... BUT I WAS FINE!

That was our last trip to Dewees Island to camp. Like I said before… I AM NOT A CAMPER! And that trip did not change my mind. So, if anyone mentions camping to me I think about all the “experiences” we had that weekend and how I'd much rather have the “experiences” of a comfortable, clean room where I can sit in bed watching TV, in the air conditioning, with a wonderful hot shower, hairdryer, and someone to clean up after me, and restaurants to cook all my meals...

Or, there is always room service.

Those memories of camping at Dewees were enough to last me a lifetime.

~ Jeannie Joyner

Tu-lips Sink Ships

Yellow has always been my favorite color. And as I got older—red. So, I fluctuate between yellow and red. No other colors come close.

As I was walking through my neighborhood one afternoon, when I was about seven or eight years old, I spotted a flower bed full of the most gorgeous yellow tulips I had ever seen. It was bad enough that yellow was my favorite color but a double-whammy—tulips were my favorite flower. I stared at this flower bed thinking, “I sure would love to have some of those flowers.”

Should I pick those tulips?

They don't belong to me!

Wouldn’t that be stealing?

Surely it would be okay, right?

Who's going to stop me?!?!

So, without giving it another thought I reach down to pick me some of the largest, brightest tulips in the flower bed. As I was gathering the tulips to make a beautiful bouquet...

I stood up, turned around, and there... standing in the doorway of the house... was the lady who had painstakingly planted and nurtured those tulips!

“Oh my goodness. I'm caught,” I thought. I could feel my face turn red because I was so embarrassed that I had been caught. “Will she go to my house and let my mama know what I had done?” I said to myself.

I just stood there—frozen.

She was staring at me and she was NOT smiling.

I was staring back at her. “What do I do? Should I just take off running?” I thought.

After we stood there staring at each other for what seemed like 10 minutes, the lady broke out in a smile!

Whew! I thought she was going to kill me!

Instead, she told me that since I'd already picked those tulips that it was okay for me to keep them. But I was never to do that again. “Yes ma'am,” I said as I scurried toward home.

All I could think about was what if she had told my mother what had I done?!?! My mother would have been too so disappointed in me. I was already disappointed in myself. What was I thinking?

A few days later, my dad was going up to work and asked if I wanted to ride with him. He made rounds to collect for the company where he worked. “Wow, that sounds fun! Yes, sir. I would love to go,” I said. So, I hopped in the car and off we went.

My dad told me that I would have to sit in the car while he met with his clients and that was okay with me. He was in this one particular house for a good while, then I spotted him walking toward the car. In his hands, he had the most gorgeous yellow tulips I'd ever seen. He got in the car, turned toward me and said, “The lady in the house just sent these to you!” I took the tulips—so pretty—I thought, but how did she know tulips were my favorite flowers or that yellow was my favorite color?

So I put the Tulips on the seat next to me and stared at them the whole way home.

Hmmm… even at my young age, all I could think about was the flowers that I had stolen out of the flower bed. How is it that I was “given” yellow tulips. Was it God's way of reminding me about what I had done? Well, if it was—it worked! Never again did I even think about stealing flowers.

It's funny how we learn valuable lessons as children and those lessons remain with us the rest of our lives. As parents, we hope we have instilled those same values in our own children and our children turn out to be fine upstanding citizens.

Oh, by the way—I work in a florist shop. And we still sell tulips—yellow tulips!

~ Jeannie Joyner

Pinch Me

A Brief History of the Atlantic-Blue Crab

The Atlantic Blue Crab—species: Callinectes sapidus—regionally called the Chesapeake blue crab, named as such due to the bright-blue claws and olive-brown mottled shell (carapace). Crabs molt approximately 25 times until they reach full maturity as their exoskeleton doesn’t expand and grows underneath the shell until it’s shed. The exoskeleton remains soft for a small period of time and that is when the much-beloved soft-shelled crabs can be harvested (between 3.5-6 inches). Adult female blues have a red tip at the end of the claws and are slightly smaller than their fully-grown adult male counterparts, which can get up to 8 inches across on average. The largest on record was just under 11 inches measured across the back from tip to tip!

This species of crab is native to a wide range of waters—from the Nova Scotia bays of the western Atlantic Ocean to the coasts of South Carolina, into the Gulf of Mexico and even as far south as Argentina. The Atlantic Blue Crab has been introduced internationally largely due to their fifth pair of paddle-like legs; they are extremely strong swimmers! These blue beauties inhabit estuaries and brackish coastal lagoons. Because of their ability to adapt to fresh and salt, clean and dirty waters, it’s likely that the Blue Crab has been in existence for more than a million years; though, the average life-span of a single crab is only 3 years!

Females reach maturity at 1 year of age and only mate once in their lives. On average, a “she-crab” will release 2 million eggs at a time. This spongy roe found under the apron of the female crab is the main component in traditional Charleston She-Crab Soup. Blue Crabs live up to their namesake, which means “savory beautiful swimmer,” are well-harvested and enjoyed in many recipes due to their sweet tender meat. Notably, 1 cup of cooked Blue Crab boasts much nutritional value with only 112 Calories and 1 g of Fat, packing in 24 g of Protein and 350 mg of Potassium. They feed not only the body but are a large contributor to the local fisheries here in Charleston.

These crabs feed on pretty much anything they can wrap their pinchers around, including much sea life: snails, mussels, plants, fish, and even smaller blue crabs if they can’t find anything else. They help maintain population control of the things they feast on. Their predators include: us, sea turtles, whooping cranes, herons, larger fish, older crabs, and as the larvae are fully forming, some smaller fish and jellyfish will nosh on them.

If you would like to adopt a Blue Crab rather than feasting on them, The National Wildlife Federation will even allow you to do so.

In whatever form you might fancy your crabs—they can be appreciated in all stages of their lifecycle—from the beautiful blue swimmers in the oceans to the delicacy of combining ingredients and being prepared for consumption, they truly boast a bountiful harvest which can be enjoyed by all!

~ Kristen N. Granet

We Are Groot!

It’s fun to read comics.

I like to flip through the pages. When I first get a comic, I flip through it a couple of times. Then, when I get tired, I put it down and come back to it [later] to read some more.

I really like looking at the pictures. The print is small but it’s easier to decipher than a book because of the pictures. I have a magnifying glass to read the tiny words. Sometimes you get ink on your hands from reading.

Sometimes I read Marvel and sometimes DC… but other than that I don’t think I read too much. Maybe some IDW and Image… Star Trek, Transformers.

Some of the lesser-known comic books I enjoy reading… Cloak & Dagger, Black Hawk, Moon Knight, Firefly, Silver Surfer, Rom: Space Knight, Swamp Thing, and Dazzler! 

In Marvel, I read X-Men, Spider-Man, The Avengers, and Defenders.

Out of those, I think my favorite would be Captain America out of the Marvel lot. Captain America is important to me because of the shield and the outfit-- both the color and the design! Red, white & blue, I just like them… they’re on the flag… they’re American! And I’m American. I love my country. Captain America… I think he believes in America… I guess! Liberty and Justice for all. Liberty is freedom.

In DC, I read Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Teen Titans, Dial H for Hero; and, if I had to pick one… Batman!

Batman is fun and neat. The way he flies with his glider is cool, like in Batman Returns; he also uses his grappling hook to help him. I like the way he drives the Batmobile. His gadgets are neat, especially the Batarangs. And, also, his transportation-- the Batmobile, the Batboat, and the Bat Cycle. I like that he hides in the Bat Cave; it’s a secret, dark place that no one knows where it is.

Yeah, I sometimes put myself in these characters’ places in my mind. I don’t really want to be like Captain America; it’s hard in my mind to do what he does. But, Batman, I think it’d be fun to be him. I’d like to have access to the Bat Cave and use all of his gadgets.

It was neat to see the transition from comic books that I read growing up to seeing them come alive on the big screen. But, the difference between that and the movies is that you get to see more action! More money equals a lot of action!

Wonder Woman, Hulk, Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, and Captain America were all on TV in the 70’s and 80’s.

But, it’s different in the TV-- The Hulk is always doing a good job. Captain America isn’t as much.

I think Marvel is doing a good job with the movies and DC is doing good with television.

I like Marvel’s approach. Supergirl did OK. They even have Cloak & Dagger on TV. Even Green Lantern was fine.

Then... you get to see team-ups and crossovers. The crossover to big-screen is very different. You know… Smallville was cool too. Then you’ve got Supergirl, Flash, Arrow, Batgirl. And Legends… And they keep adding them!

If I could see anyone jump from the page to the screen that doesn’t exist yet… it would be FLASH! I’d also like to see Justice League, and I can’t wait for Black Widow!

I recommend that you read comic books because if you have trouble reading small print then the pictures will help you.

Wait… They’re gonna make She Hulk? Who’s doing that one? I hope it’s good!

~ John Joyner

The Woman in the Window

When I was younger my mom would say to me, “When you get married and have kids, I hope they do to you what you've done to me.” And I would think, “When I get married and have kids, they will be perfect and never give me any trouble!” Haha! Haha!

Famous last words, right?

We lived in a neighborhood full of children. We all walked to school together, spent the night together, and play all day together. What more could an only child want?!? Lots of friends and so I was never lonely!

I got plenty of attention from my parents. After all, who else did they have but me!

You've heard me tell the stories of how my dad taught me to ride a bike, how my mama taught me to color in the lines, how she taught me to pick out clothes and how to match them, how to hand sew, how to bake in an Easy Bake Oven etc... etc...  etc...

Somehow all that attention was not always enough for me.

I remember one afternoon a bunch of the neighborhood kids were playing jump rope right in front of my apartment and called out to me to come join them. They were playing “double jump rope” as I called it then. My parents went outside and sat on the steps to watch us play. I loved all of these games—jump rope, dodgeball, Red Rover, etc. My turn came and I ran and jumped in the double ropes. And everything was going great... until, I missed a rope.

Me? Miss a rope? Already?

No! No way!

I thought, “Someone was not handling the rope properly.” I said, “You need to let me start over ‘cause that was NOT MY FAULT.”  Well, the kids didn't like my attitude one bit and called for the next person to take their turn. Not letting it drop, I shouted, “That is just not fair. I want another turn!”

Since my parents had witnessed my bad attitude, they politely sent me to my room. How dare they side with those kids and not with me. I'm their daughter! They should love me more! My dad gave me a stern look like-- “Okay, Missy, go now or you are punishments will only get worse.”-- I decided it was in my best interest to shut up and move.

I went to my room which was on the third floor of our apartment building. They followed me to make sure that I found my bedroom. I thought, “They don't deserve me. (Oh, how true!) How dare they do that to me and embarrass me in front of those unfair children?”

What could I do to get back at them?

Back in “ancient times” we didn't have air-conditioning and on those hot summer days we opened up all the screened windows. “Mmmm…” I thought, as I was left to think about the way I had acted.

Idea!

As I stared at the window and not giving it another thought, I ran over to the window (stomping on the floor as I ran) and let out a blood-curdling scream like I was falling out of the third-story window to the cement below. Can you imagine how my parents felt, thinking that I had fallen or jumped out of that window?

I’m alive today, so obviously they did not kill me but I thought for sure I had breathed my last breath. (And, I would have deserved it!) I NEVER did that again. I DID spend a lot of time in my room, windows closed!

So anytime MY perfect kids pulled one of those shenanigans I can still hear my mom's voice in the back of my head saying, “Gotcha! Now you know how it feels.”

Don't you hate it when your parents are always right?

~ Jeannie Joyner

We've Only Just Begun

As I sit here writing this, our family and probably yours is under a quasi-quarantine. Stuck inside. Running around the kitchen table. Clawing at the walls.  

All we can do in times like these is look forward.  

But those who fail to learn from history are condemned to repeat it as Winston Churchill once paraphrased. So, while we wait on tomorrow, we look back to the past.  

My mother, Jeannie Joyner, the artist whose work this very site is built around, has always been the creative type. She grew up in a generation that still taught home-ec and wood shop. Now, I doubt that mom could make a birdhouse, but she sure as heck would give it the college try. She wanted to escalate what she had been doing for so many years leading up to the last one. 

She decided to sell her artwork of the city which is so near and dear to her heart: Charleston! 

We set up Facebook and the website and things just kind of sat. And sat. And sat.  

I posted a few pictures. I really didn’t know what to do next. It would be about a year before I really sat down with the family to form any type of business game plan.  

And right before we did… 

Beep. 

A Facebook message from Lisa Graham. 

“This is an odd question. I recently changed a light plate in my home that I purchased about 4 yrs ago. The back is signed by Jeannie Joyner along with Rainbow Row Charleston SC but the plate is not painted. Just curious who Jeannie Joyner is. I found online she is [a] Lowcountry Native.”  

And the journey began. 

The above pretty much outlines the discovery of this former artwork. The former owners of the house had apparently scrubbed the painting of Rainbow Row that Jeannie had so painstakingly recreated transforming this simple household item into a work of art. All that was left was a white nothingness.  

After a little bit of back and forth, Jeannie and Lisa came to an agreement that Jeannie would repaint what once was hers. Bring history that had been erased back from the dead.  

In the end? Voila! Lisa and her family had Jeannie transform this everyday switch plate into a view of Charleston once again. Not to mention she made a few friends along the way… 

(Picture of Lisa and Mom and the switch plate.) 

In the end, this rekindled the passion for the project. We started taking more and more pictures of what mom had painted. The flower pots. The saw blades. The lightbulbs.  

The fire was stoked and we built an inventory and were ready to really gear up to share our love and Jeannie’s art. We always knew how we wanted to work. Help people connect with the town of Charleston in which they live or help a visitor take a piece of our city home with them. We’ve been doing it ever since. Hence, this blog.  

Before we go, you might be asking yourself where the name of our illustrious company came from. The answer may surprise you. Jeannie and David had a little business years and years ago. The name? Designs from Our House. Some of you may remember it.  

When approached about this new endeavor, she was asked if she wanted to go with the same name as her former company. She simply replied, “No. I want it to be called such and such designs.” 

Perfect!  

What started as a placeholder for something more fanciful became our moniker for one of the most consistent and creative artistic establishments on all of the interwebs.  

After this first full year of business online, we simply want to say: Thank you! 

Thank you for interacting with us on Instagram. 

Thank you for commenting and sharing our work on Facebook. 

Thank you for reading our quaint newsletter every week. 

(Thank you, Lisa, for looking us up and helping to put our butts into gear.) 

We appreciate you and your patronage. But if you want to pick up one of our wine glasses or a set to celebrate along with us? We would LOVE that too! 

~ Brandon L. Joyner

Diary of a Shrimpy Kid

(A Brief History of Shrimp in Charleston)

We could start everything with a couple of corny jokes. We could ask, “Where do shrimp sleep?” Then let you know, “In a water bed.”

Or ask, “What do shrimp need to stay healthy?” Answer? “Vitamin Sea.” But we won’t do that. For your sake and ours.

What we will do is inform you that there are over 300 different species of shrimp populating the seas. While we could spend pages and pages (and many have) discussing the many different types of shrimp, let’s stick to the local waters of South Carolina where certain shrimp and all of Charleston calls home.

There are three types of savory shrimp that populate the waters of our coast: brown, white and pink. The former, brown and white shrimp, are far more common.

In May or June, predominately you have what’s called roe shrimp; roe being the fertilized external egg mass from the shrimp. The Department of Natural Resources monitors the local growth and advises if there’s sufficient quantity to produce a full harvest. This part of the season is the shortest coming in at only about a month long.

Brown shrimp season makes up the second season. This generally runs for a few months starting in June and ending sometime in August. The brown shrimp – they go great in Cajun food like jambalaya due to their strong flavor profile – are some of the most common shrimp species. They can be identified by their red or brown color that is most greatly pronounced in their tails.

Milder than their cousins, the white shrimp are not unlike most of what comes out of the South: very sweet. The largest group harvested for food, the white shrimp season overlaps with the brown and can last until early January. If you’re picking up frozen shrimp in the freezer section of your local grocer, chances are they are of the white shrimp ilk.

Put on some Barry White and turn down the lights… ‘cause a single female produces between 500,000 and 1,000,000 eggs and can go through this process several times. The male then fertilizes the eggs and they sink to the ocean depths until the time and tide literally bring them up and they hatch. But “less than one or two percent of the eggs spawned survive to adults” according to the South Carolina Department of Natural Resources.

As far as what shrimp eat, they are simply bottom-feeders. Larger shrimp may feed off worms, small fish and even some crabs, but most simply feed off teeny tiny animals and plants also found on the ocean floors.

Speaking of food… While we could spend time writing another book or two on how the shrimp move from the proverbial saltwater—farm to table, let’s instead focus on the delicious magic that transpires once those crustaceans hit the plate.

You can enjoy them fresh. Many restaurants will simply boil these mouthwatering morsels. Peel. Eat. (Maybe dip in cocktail sauce.) Enjoy.  If you’re feeling frisky, you can grill or fry up a pound. Just add a dip: tarter or the classic cocktail, again.

Shrimp are the main ingredient in a Lowcountry Boil, alongside corn, sausage, and potatoes. Then there’s the Charleston staple of Shrimp & Grits... Just make sure that you get the right chef. While these dishes might seem simple, they’re like potato salad at a picnic: buyer beware! There must be a proverbial, hyperbolic billion ways to prepare shrimp that will tickle your palate from Charleston to New Orleans, everywhere in the South, and in between.

So, just remember, next time you have a huge pile of shrimp on your plate, share. Don’t be… Shellfish? (We couldn’t resist.)

It’s My Party and I’ll DIE If I Want To!

Ever think about all the friends you have made in your life? Some remain close while others come into your life and just as quickly slip away. I have been very blessed with some of the best friends imaginable. As I look back over my life, many stand out. But I'm going to talk about a couple from many years ago.

At the time, we did everything together—church, shopping, vacationing, picnics, sports, etc. We had adventure after adventure. But those stories are for another time.

During our “over-a-decade" friendship, we celebrated many birthdays. This one particular birthday, my dear, sweet, loving, kind friends decided to throw me a birthday party. And what a birthday party it was!

I don't know if any of you are like me but I'd just as soon forget my birthdays—NOT DRAW ATTENTION TO THEM. Well, between my husband, and my friends, they invited all our other friends to celebrate it. “Oh goody!” I thought, “Can't we just have a quiet dinner for the four of us?” But... no way!

Party Time! The food and beverages were delicious and we were having a grand “OLD” time. Time for the cake and ice cream. That's the best part of a birthday party, right? And the theme? All birthday parties have a theme. Oh fun! What’s the theme of this party? My party!

My friend announced that we should all go into the dining area for the cake so we all did just that. And, a box was on the table, a big box! Everyone was making a big to-do over the box. So... I was very curious why.

I mean, a cake is just a cake, right? Wrong!

My friend slowly opened the lid to this box as everyone peeped over each other to get a better look at what was being uncovered.

Cake, uncovered!

And all of a sudden it was like I was looking in a mirror. For there, on the table, in the shape of myself was... Myself in a coffin. And ugly... Oh my goodness it was ugly! Did I really look like that? It was life-sized? At least the head and the shoulders were. There was a gasp from the audience. And then... silence.

Suddenly everyone in the room burst into laughter. It was so strange-looking—this grayish, yellowish figure lying before me—helping me celebrate MY day.

For the rest of the evening... I... It... was the topic of conversation as everyone filed by to get a better look... It was like a visitation at a funeral home.

We have memories about the good old days and this is still one that we remember most fondly—especially all the time and effort they went through to make this birthday one I would never forget.

I just about died... but, I'm still talking about it, aren’t I?

ABC... Easy as 123...

The first book I ever remember reading was a children’s book. A Little Golden Book. The flat cardboard ones with a golden spine. I had the Little Toy Boat book and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood book. There are so many Little Golden Books out there. Then I started reading a little bit longer books, like the Disney ones. They’ve got different ones like for Halloween, and a Christmas Disney Book and those Big Books like the ones I’m reading now. I think they’re “coffee-table” books. Then I started reading comic books. And I still go haywire with comics!

Whenever I can, I read books about Nashville. I love to look at the pictures while I’m reading about things. I read so many different books now, it’s hard to keep track. I like to read the Princess Dianna books too; I have lots of those! Well, sometimes I use a magnifying glass to read, but I can’t read the small print so this helps me see the words better.

I rent/borrow/check-out CDs now to read-- they used to be called “Book on Tape” and now they’re called “Audiobooks.” Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil was the first one I ever read; it was on cassette tape. This [format] makes it a lot easier for me to read the adult novels since the words tend to be so small. I also loved when Mom used to read the old blue Hardy Boys Books to me.

As an adult, I found the library again. And it is fun and quiet and helps you socialize a little bit. Brandon started taking me to the library and we haven’t stopped since we started. We go together once a week, every Thursday. I have friends at the library who help me find things. Josh and Ms. Carolyn and everyone there [at the Saint Andrews Branch] are so nice. It’s nice to have a good conversation and say hi and all that. They make me laugh and I made them laugh.

When I get there on Thursdays, I go up to the Return Desk and bring the stuff back when I’m finished watching movies or T.V. or books. Then I head on over to the movie section to see what I haven’t seen. Some I have and some I haven’t. I don’t get the ones I have at home. But it gets hard to find ones that you haven’t seen when you go every week. If I have ordered in a new audiobook that’s not from our library [using the Inter Library Loan System] then I go to the Reference Desk. Sometimes you can’t find everything you want to read in one place and you can borrow them from another library

I was able to read the Bond books and the Bourne Identity book series through the library. I read a book with Martin Short and it was funny (I Must Say My Life as Humble Comedy Legend). With books, I pick out things that I normally know a little bit about and then want to know more-- like being a spy. And Harry Potter. I enjoy reading those a lot. But like with the Bond book—there are some differences in the book compared to the movie and I like to learn and read and hear about the differences.

The library is a relaxing place. I’m very familiar with the area and I go off on my own and get to look through the movies and books. I enjoy being able to do that and not have to always ask people questions. But I know if I had a question, there are many friends there to help me out.

There’s a wealth of knowledge and it’s easy access for any and all people. There are libraries all over so if you like to read and want to know more about anything really… that’s the place to be.

~John Joyner

Head, Shoulders, Knees and… CRABS on my Toes!

We have wonderful, beautiful beaches in Charleston.

My family would spend every weekend at one of them and oh how glorious! We go for long walks collecting shells by the bagful. Yes, Charleston beaches do you have shells—quite a collection of them—from lettered olives to horse conchs. We need to play handball for hours, listen to music or just eat, drink, and be merry.

Those were the days.

Those were not the only experiences we had at our local beaches. Somewhere not so pleasant.

One day we walked down to the mouth of the river, through the old Coast Guard Station, on Folly Beach. We waited in the water only to have a three-and-a-half-foot hammerhead shark circling around our feet. And this happened more than once! Another time, while swimming a little farther out in the water, I put my feet down to stand up... and... stepped on something. I jumped backward about 3ft only to land on that same “something” again.

Don't know what it was but it was BIG!

Another time, we were chest-deep in the waves when hundreds of fish were frantically swimming past us only to almost knock us down in their frenzy to get away from something. Not a good feeling...

I remember one fishing excursion when we were out all day and we could all we could do was laugh because we caught everything imaginable. Everything—but fish... Crabs (horseshoe and Atlantic blue), a hammerhead shark, an eel that wrestled with us for hours, and miscellaneous trash-- but NO fish!

One thing that stands out in my mind is how many crabs we could see in the shallows around the rocks and lots of crabs washing up on the sand as the waves rolled in on the beach. For some strange reason, I was the target of these crabs (or at least my toes were). It happened almost every time that I decided to go in for a swim.

I know I'm sweet, but gee whiz!

I was at the point of not wanting to go back into the water. This particular hot humid day, I decided I would take my chances and headed out for a swim, jumped into the waves and OUCH! I pulled my foot out of the water and there clinging to my little toe was a huge Atlantic blue crab. I screamed!

David came a running to help. It was quite a funny sight watching him trying to pry this huge crab from my little toe without being bitten. My toe was bleeding. All I could think of was how sharks can detect blood in the water from miles away. Crabs eating my toes and now the rest of me was going to be eaten by Jaws!

I got out of the water—FAST!

What was the solution to this dilemma? I love the beach, love the sun and love the water. What could I do?!

Ah-hah!!!  An IDEA!

I grabbed a pair of clunky tennis shoes (water shoes were not invented yet—this was in the Dark Ages). I knew the crabs could not pinch through those shoes. Everyone was turning around staring at me as I jumped into the water in my teeny-weeny bikini and the pair of BIG, CLUNKY, TACKY tennis shoes on this less than a hundred-pound girl. I didn't care!

The shoes were the solution to my problem and never again was I going to be the main course.

It's one thing to have someone I love play with my feet or tickle my toes, it's quite another to know that there is something out there with razor-sharp pincers wanting to taste one of my little toes!

~Jeannie Joyner

The Not-So-Secret Gardens

(A Brief History of Magnolia Gardens)

Who said it isn’t fun going to a museum? And we’re not talking about Ben Stiller at night.

If you head down Ashley River Road away from West Ashley toward Summerville, you’ll be blessed to find what seems to be a never-ending canopy of the most beautiful trees you can imagine.

It seems to lead on for miles. (Mostly because it does.) If you turn right as the signage leading to Magnolia Gardens advises, you’ll be greeted by a landscape out of the movies. Green and lush, epic and stately.

Simple fact: Magnolia Gardens is one of the oldest Plantations in the South. But, what’s the history of the original 1,872 acres that make up this former Plantation?

Thomas and Ann Drayton (yes, the same Draytons of Drayton Hall) decided to build a small home with a garden. They received this from Steven Fox (Ann’s father) after he purchased it from Morris Matthews - one of the earliest settlers in the area - who received a warrant for 750 acres of land.

But their plans wouldn’t be satisfied with that. Over the next 175 years, the desires of the family would grow and encapsulate rice farming. During the Colonial Period, South Carolina was the largest producer of rice in America.

There is a dark and malevolent past within the gates of the grounds as with all of those types of businesses in the South at this point. There were upwards of 325 enslaved peoples working the property to keep the wheels of the pre-industrial America turning. Most were brought in chains from Barbados to work the extensive rice fields.

The African slaves empowered themselves in the best way they knew how by creating a new form of communication—a creolized language. The Gullah and Geechee heritage still thrives here and if you ever want to hear a shout from the past, just ask someone fluent in these languages to share them with your ears.

Shedding the literal shackles of its past, Magnolia went through a transformation in the 1840s. Reverend John Grimke-Drayton inherited the property and wanted to do something special with the land that might not be tied to the soon to be outdated thought processes of enslavement. His horticultural genius would move the camellia out of doors and introduce the azalea to America.

Even though the property and its owners were attempting to move away from its controversial past, it couldn’t separate itself from its actual location. During the Civil War, the original plantation home was burned and most of the property was destroyed. With the loss of the War and the steep economic downturn in all of the Southern American states, John Drayton was forced to sell most of his land just to save some of it.

The property has dwindled to the 390 acres that make up the estate today. It still remains within the control of the Drayton Family after over fifteen generations. But, due to the foresight of John Drayton, the ornamental wholesale plant nursery keeps the lights on and the doors open to this day.

Where to begin with all of the activities that represent that sprawling landscape that is Magnolia?

There are seven bridges on the grounds; most notably the Long Bridge. A Wildlife Refuge where you can wander with some of the more common nonfatal fauna. But, don’t worry about those from the Lowcountry that might want to eat you. They’re safely tucked away in the Zoo area. Also worthy of mention are the replica of England’s Hampton Court Maze and the Barbados Indoor Tropical Garden.

It wouldn’t be part of the Holy City without something from the Bible being referenced. The Biblical Garden has areas where the Old and New Testaments are referenced through the plants that adorn the area.

While some museums represent the bones from a past long forgotten, others - like Magnolia Gardens - are a place where everyone can interact and experience history first-hand.

~ Brandon L. Joyner

A Marriage Story

(Or… The Exciting  of Newlyweds and Their Crosstown Journey)

March 22nd, 1968 - what a very special time for us!

We were married at 8 p.m. on a Friday night - very simple but formal wedding by candlelight.

But that is not what I'm telling you about. It's after the ceremony that this part of the story starts.

Leaving on a Jet Plane – no -  leaving in our 1963 Chevy Bel Air with a 357 engine. If David Cousin Eddie had not attached special fireworks to the spark plug wires we might have been able to fly out of the parking lot. But that was not to be. It wasn't enough that they had a door in the car with toilet paper -  shoe polish some of which outlasted the car the rocks in the hubcaps and the rice in the AC vents added sound effects to the music of the night.

What have they done to our car?

It was all we could do to “chug-a-lug” out of the parking lot and into the service station. With a quick inspection we were able to reconnect the loose spark plug wires without igniting the fireworks under the hood. We also remove the fish from the engine block and some of the rocks from the hubcaps. Once done we were on our way.

Alone at last… or so we thought!!!

Very quickly we realized that we were being followed - not by one car dash but by three. We had no intent on having them follow us to our honeymoon destination and we knew they would not give up. So to lose them we headed out to the Navy base. When we got to the Southgate we plead with the guard to allow us to the past while stopping are pursuers.

As we sped through the base we decided to exit by the hospital gate only to find our pursuers right in front of us.

Other than give up - we did a u-turn outside the gate, headed back in and once again pleaded with the guard to hold the Chasers until we could escape. This time it was successful and we fled towards the Reynolds Avenue exit gate and hid behind the row of bars and nightclubs.

Waiting to make sure we had lost them, the door to one of the bars opened and out popped a “Saturday night regular” who encouraged everyone else in the bar to come out and congratulate us! Not a good idea. We crank the car and made a quick exit

We crept out of the lot looking at in all directions to make sure we have lost them.

Success. We had lost them.

Just one little hiccup in our rush to get out of the wedding, I had forgotten my suitcase. That meant we had to drive all the way back to my house before everyone else got there!

It was 11 miles out of town. “Step on the gas, David. We've got to beat them home!” I said. We drove up the driveway and I thought, “wonder who is here?” We walked in the house - all the lights on, all the doors open dash but no one home! A house full of people and not one remember to close the door, turn out the lights and lock up! But that was a good thing cause I had forgotten my key!

Before anyone could get back home we grab my suitcase and made our Escape all the way back down to the Holiday Inn across the street from the church.

Because our wedding was so late in the evening we had planned on spending the first night in Charleston and then leaving the next morning for our honeymoon. But we never told anyone that we would be staying at the hotel right across the street. Can you imagine what our friends would have done if they had known that?

That little short trip across the street to our hotel tickets about 2 and 1/2 hours.

~ Jeannie Joyner

Just Keep Swimming

Swimming. It’s fun. And, really good exercise. I kinda like it. It energizes me even though it wears me out.

Swim lessons started on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so now it’s only on Tuesdays because it was too much—it can be tiring. One day is more manageable.

When I get there each Tuesday, I sit down and wait for my time. I have to make sure to wear the proper clothes in the pool and my swim shoes. Then I do my lesson. And after I swim, I leave my drink (water—I have to keep hydrated and drink a lot while doing my exercises). Then I hit the jacuzzi to relax. It’s so nice and warm after being in the pool. I like to relax my muscles after I swim. When they turn the water on—the bubbles—the jets help my back. Then I head to shower off and change back to my regular clothes.

I do the same routine: jumping jacks, up and down on the board in the water, pushing back and forth with my arms; sometimes we use a heavy red ball for resistance and other times we use a green ball that is lighter. Sometimes I do my relapse exercises, bicycle legs in the water to a count of 6 reps, swimming from one side of the pool to the other, breast-stroke swimming sets. The Superman exercise is my favorite, but it is VERY hard to do—you can do your arms and legs at the same time, but with this one, you go and fold yourself up and then put your arms out like you’re flying! The most that I’ve ever done of these would probably be about 12 times. I have to count while I’m doing it—sometimes I lose track—it's hard but I try to keep count.

I had two teachers tell me different things to do, different exercises. Before I had Amy, but now I have Jesse. Jesse has added a lot of different exercises and when she’s not there someone fills in; she has a substitute. I swim in Mt. Pleasant at the Franke Retirement Home at Seaside. I always love to have quiet times and learn how to do things. So, I used to be at the Rec Center and it was really loud and it was hard to pay attention and hear the instructions for the exercises, but at Franke, they offer a more relaxing area and it helps me.

I remember in 1983-1984 I had my first swimming lessons at the Davey Jones Center in North Charleston. This is when I did the frog exercise and the butterfly stroke. The frog exercise is where you push up with your legs.

My earliest memories of swimming—earliest memory of being in the water—would be the beach. I like going to the beach cause it’s fun and very salty. It feels different. Very different on your skin. Beach water is very salty but pool water has a lot of chlorine. I like the beach better, but I do love the water—any water.

Why did I go back to swimming? I wanted a new way to exercise. You should get someone to teach you. It’s good and relaxing to exercise in the pool. It’s low impact with good results and it’s lots of fun!

Also, make sure you drink a lot of water, fruit water or fruit juice because there’s gonna be a lot of different kinds of exercises for you to do.

And, that’s all I can give you.

Ma Shot the Sheriff

I used to drive back and forth to Walterboro, where my parents lived, almost every weekend because they wanted to babysit for my son, John. They would always say, “If you're going out or away for the weekend, please drop John off of that so we can watch him for you.” We very, very seldom had a sitter other than my parents.

This one particular day, Mama decided that she would come back to Charleston with us and spend the night. Great! We always loved having her. We gathered up everything that she needed and headed to Charleston. Well, we were a little late leaving Walterboro and we had to get back in time to pick up David, my husband, from work.

So off we go...

Trying to make up the time— the clock was ticking away—and I decided I'd go just a little faster. I had to get back to Charleston before David got off. I was barreling down the dual lane—approaching Ravenel—when I spotted a policeman going in the opposite direction. “Oh my goodness,” I thought. “I think he is going to turn around to pull me!”

I headed on down the highway—slower of course—and I looked in my rearview mirror and he was breaking!!! “I'm dead,” I thought. Never had a ticket but I think that’s going to change today!!!

If I could have found a side road that I could have turned onto or escaped down, I would have! “Really, Jeannie? This was HIS area and you don't think he would know all the little side streets and where they go? How naive can you be?”

My heart was pounding in my chest! I'm really dead! All this was going on in my head... I saw him coming up behind me... blue light flashing! Ma knew nothing except we were in a hurry to get to Charleston.

I started to pull off the road onto the right shoulder on the dirt! When I did, my mom grabbed the dash, thinking we were going to wreck, running off the road and into the ditch. “Jeannie-- what are you doing? You are scaring me!”

I said, “Mom, I think I'm being pulled by that policeman behind me and I just wanted to get away but I had nowhere to go!”

And we both just sat there waiting to see what would happen next...

The policeman got out of his car, he walked up to my window and leaned down to address the situation. And, as he leaned down into my window-- I burst out, “Well I hope you are satisfied. You have scared my mother half to death! She thought we were running off the road and we were going to have a wreck!!!”

He stood there a moment.

Then he said, “Well, I thought you were speeding but it might have been that tractor-trailer that was passing you at the same time.” Never asking me for my license or my insurance, he tipped his hat, saying “You ladies have a nice day.” He got back in his patrol car and drove away.

My mom looked at me and said, “Jeannie, there was no other traffic on the road, so there was no truck!”

I said, “I know, Mom.”

I started the car, slowly pulled out on the highway and headed for home. I was so stressed and nervous that I shook all the rest of the way home!

I was so thankful that the kind policeman decided not to ticket me. But, I don't think he knew what to say either. We were a few minutes late getting home to pick up David but at least we were safe.

Even though the policeman didn't give me a ticket, it did slow me down and made me think about leaving earlier so that I would never be in that situation again.

Oh—and did I mention—the policeman was real cute!?

~ Jeannie Joyner

A Tip of the Hat, Man

(A Brief History of the Hat Man)

Banksy once said – and we’re paraphrasing – Graffiti is one of the few tools you have if you have almost nothing. And even if you don't come up with a picture to cure world poverty you can make someone smile while they're having a wee.

In short, what makes you happy AND pay a little bit of attention?

Charleston has always been known for its sharp-dressed men and women. But where do these people shop? And how did they find out about that place to begin with?

It isn't surprising that this history involves a well-placed address with a significant piece of architecture and a varied background. Some would say that such a structure would be severely affected by common graffiti, but that doesn't seem to be the case for the Penge building at the corner of Broad and Church Streets.

Construction of the structure was initiated in 1855 by Charles Love and Conrad Wienges for their service to the “carriage” trade—saddlery and harnesses. The sale to Charles Plenge in 1855 brought a change to the clientele—from horses to people. At some point in the ensuing years, Mister Plenge’s Haberdashery was sold to one of his employees, A. Beauregard Betancourt Sr. Today the building has been renovated and restored with a multiple-use designation having offices on the ground floor and stylish Apartments upstairs. Notably, it still maintains the original Plenge facade.

So, how does graffiti fit in? Well, the most well-known name for the building is a “Hat Man Building.” For over 100 years, everyone walking past might have noticed the hand-painted figure on the Church Street side of the building that gives its name to the structure.

Legend has it that Mr. Betancourt was something of a cartoonist known for his hand-drawn figures. Sometime around 1892, the hand-painted figure of a man appeared on the side of his clothing business. It was noted then as a perfect advertisement for the shop which served all of Charleston's most notable and well-dressed businessmen. The haberdashery was known for hand-tailored suits and appropriate hat wear. The later became the inspiration for Mr. Betancourt's painting of the Hat Man on the side of his store.

The colors of the painting of changed ever so slightly over the century yet it continues to intrigue passers-by. This artwork is comprised almost entirely of hats, at least 12 styles of them—from the top hat on his head to his ears made up of two different styles of soldier’s hats to the sailor caps as shoes on his feet.

It doesn't seem to have mattered beyond the normal Charleston concern for architecture, but since Mr. Betancourt died 1944 his now-famous painting has been lovingly preserved by those involved with historic preservation.

While you may not be able to top off the night with a stylish bowler or crown yourself with a fancy fedora at this particular location, the Hat Man is a reminder of our thick Charleston history and how we should always look our best.

Or should we say the bee’s knees? Beau Brummel? The cat’s pajamas? You’ll just have to cap this one off for yourselves.

~ David Joyner and Kristen N. Granet

Pranks for the Memories

Do you like practical jokes? I do... if I'm the one arranging them. Not so much if they’re being played on me.

Anyway, the Glowettes, the girls I sing with, went to Charlotte, North Carolina, for the weekend. We were helping Lynn at the merchandising mart set up her display to sell her t-shirts. At the time, Lynn owned a t-shirt company and she designed and produced her own line of t-shirts and they were beautiful!

While Lynn was at the merchandising mart setting up, we went to the hotel to check-in. We were putting all of our belongings into the room when I thought, “Let's play a joke on Lynn.” So... I said, ¨Let's set the room up like it belongs to someone else and then bring Lynn in thinking we've gone into the wrong room. It's no big deal going into the wrong room but if you go into the wrong room with someone in the room... that's another story.”

So... we began our “prank!”

We took pillows, blankets, etc. and set up the bed just like someone was asleep in the bed. We took all the familiar luggage and hid it in the closet leaving out all the toiletries, etc. that were unfamiliar to Lynn. We turned off all the lights in the room except for the lamp on the other side of the bed that illuminated “the body in the bed.” With everything in place, we locked up and went to meet her at the “Mart.”

We finished helping Lynn and then headed back to the hotel. Do you know how hard it is not to break on laughter knowing what is coming? Believe me... It was all I could do to stay in control.

We got to the hotel and it was imperative to have Lynn enter the room FIRST! LaDonna and I piddled with some of the luggage while Lynn opened the door. She walked in first. I walked in second. And LaDonna, third. Lynn got right to the bed not really noticing anything. Opportunity struck... I grabbed her arm and frantically whispered, “Oh my gosh! Someone is in the bed. We're in the wrong room.” I ran out of the room with LaDonna, Lynn following on our heels.

In the hallway, we burst out laughing. We couldn’t hold it in any longer. Lynn had a puzzled look on her face and then she realized what it happened. She had been pranked. And, it was a good one! I know she wanted to kill us but we did have a good laugh... All of us!

We ladies love to travel together whenever we have the opportunity whether it's for work or pleasure. And, I can tell you that we never miss an opportunity to play jokes or pranks on each other. Given the same opportunity, wouldn't you?

~ Jeannie Joyner

Tuppence a Bag

“Daddy, when I grow up I'm gonna marry YOU!” That's what I would say to my daddy all the time... because I loved him, and, in my eyes, he was my hero. I was five years old. What little girl of five wouldn't love her daddy?

I think most little girls have those “special moments” with their fathers. I was an only child and I didn't have to share my daddy with anyone so most of his free time was spent with me.

Afternoons... I would stand out in front of our house, watching patiently until I saw my daddy walking down the sidewalk. I would even run toward him as fast as I could and when I got close enough, he would stretch out his arms to the side like a tree and I would jump... jump up and grab onto his arm and he would let me swing from them like I was a monkey. I thought he must have been the strongest daddy in the world.

Special Traditions... When my daddy would leave for work in the morning, the last thing I would shout out to him was “Bring me a surprise!” And he would.

Every single day!

Every day...

After work...

Religiously...

He would go by the corner store and buy me a bag of Penny Candy.

People my age know exactly what I'm talking about. Penny Candy—every piece cost a penny. My father would fill a little brown paper bag with Squirrel Nuts, Mary Janes, Bit-O-Honey, wax lips, black cows, candy buttons, candy cigarettes, wax bottles filled with flavored water, Bazooka gum... I could go on and on. It was like Christmas!

“Where’s my surprise?” I would say to him. He would smile as he handed me a little brown paper bag. It's a wonder my mom didn't kill him because this was right before my supper and I had to eat the candy right then. Give me candy over vegetables any day!

So, as I walk through the stores that sell barrels of mixed candy (but never for a penny), I think of how my dad would lovingly take the time every afternoon to pick out my favorite sweet treats and “surprise me” with a little brown paper bag filled with “something special.”

~ Jeannie Joyner

John’s Workin’ 9 to 5!

It’s hard to get up in the morning because I have to wake up early two days a week and it’s hard to function because I’m a night owl and I like to stay up late and watch movies and listen to music.

I am differently-abled, so I don’t have to work, but I love my work. It’s fun and challenging and I do it right, so I keep at it.

What do I do for work? I put the pins on top of the bolt so that they are put together and matched up. It’s called… you know, I’m not sure.

You hold the black thing in your right hand. They use a wooden thing but I have a magic marker to keep the bolt from undoing. You have to hit it hard to make sure that the thing on top doesn’t unscrew. Now it’s very tight, so it’s harder. It’s hard to stop in the middle of what you’re doing when it’s time for lunch.

There’s always so much to do. I’ve gotten better at my job and am putting together more than before. It’s a lot of fast work to do, but it keeps me on my toes. It’s kinda relaxing and helps exercise my hands. It helps with my dexterity.

Sitting in the meetings now, things tend to get a little long, but they teach you how to do the bolts the right way; it’s harder to learn, but I do a good job. Putting the bolts together is harder than the stamp job I had before. It tests me physically. But I enjoy going to work and seeing everyone.

Before this, it was putting stamps on notecards. That’s where people would put their address and name and send it off in the mail. But that was in 1993.

Mail Room—Post something (not the Post Office), but like…  Post Net? The people were nice and it was fun. I did everything good from two in the afternoon until eight in the evening. It was a long time--- and when you work like that you get very, very tired. That was Monday, Wednesday AND Friday.

Now you see how that was very different. It went well. But then, after that... I said, OK... after two years, ‘til 1995... Let’s try something different... I like it, but it got too much to handle. I wasn’t spending enough time for me—I needed some me time, free time.

The worker program through the Citadel offered outings where you go out in the mornings on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The people would pick me up and take me to movies and stores and bowling, etc. That went well, but then as the semester ended, there was another program that I got involved in.

Through the disabilities board, different workers would flip-flop days on taking me out.  Those outings were good. Sometimes we would go to different places to get lunch out—Wendy’s or Carey Hilliard's. And we would visit stores like Blockbuster or the Mall. This was throughout my twenties and early thirties and it helped increase my sociability and get out into the world. I got to talk to and meet all kinds of different people.

What would I want to do? I’m not really sure off the bat right yet.

What’s my dream job? That’s a tough question.

My favorite character in a movie—Bond—he's a spy. I don’t think I’d be very good at it, but you never know until you try.

I would like to maybe be a singer... or a spy like we were talking about (but I couldn’t tell anyone about that because I have to keep that a secret).

But, in a dream world where I could do anything at all, I think I’d like to be a professional singer. I know country is one of the genres I’d try for sure! I could do country, blues, bluegrass. I could try jazz... rap, not so much... rock n’ roll, I could maybe do that. I think I’d be more of a country and western singer in the truest sense of the word… Like Hank Williams, Ernest Tubb or Allison Krauss-like. ‘Cause I’m all the time singing in my head. I sing to myself all the time. When I’m in my back room I sing to myself where no one can hear me.

At work, there is music on the radio... sometimes I sing to myself there too.

I don’t really have a favorite person at work, but there are a couple of very nice workers and I like my boss. Every time I talk, I make them laugh. Even when I just say, “Hi, how ya’ doin’?” I’m pretty funny, I guess. I have good people to talk to. It’s a good work environment.

There are other people like me that are Handi-capable. I would encourage them to find something that they enjoy. Don’t just find a job. If you like it—do it, but don’t stay with it if you don’t like it.

Just make sure you try different things ‘til you find what you like to do; stick with it!

~ John Joyner