The Great Outdoors

I am not a person who enjoys camping!

Repeat... I am not a person who enjoys camping!

I cannot survive without my TV, AC or hairdryer. So, when it was suggested that we all go to Dewees Island to camp for the weekend, I was so excited... NOT!!! But with all our friends going then it would have to be fun, right? How many things can go wrong on one short weekend?

We all boarded the cabin cruiser and headed over to the island. I'm so experienced—did I think to take water or proper food or anything that resembled a “survival kit?” No! Surely, I could buy food somewhere. I think we ate potato chips and marshmallows the whole weekend. My cousin was smart enough to carry one of those expandable water containers so we did have enough water for everyone.

Getting off the boat: we pulled up to the shoreline. All well and good - except - jellyfish everywhere. “I'm not getting out of this boat with all these jellyfish floating everywhere,” I hollered. My sweet, “knight-in-shining-armor,” husband got out of the boat, picked me up in his arms (he now he has a bad back), and carried me to shore. He was stung three times by those annoying jellyfish... But I was fine!

Pitching the tent: what a disaster that was. We all jumped in to help but we never really completed the task. The tent was so crooked that if we had had any breeze, the tent would have blown away. It stood long enough for us to sleep in it one night but you should have seen it the next morning. Sad!

Going potty: I guess we never really thought much about where we would potty.  Nighttime came upon us and my friend said she had to use the restroom. Ha! Where? My husband told her to walk down the beach a good distance away and take care of things. There were bushes along the beach. Surely, she would find one to go behind. She walked off.

A moment later... Scream!

“What the heck was that all about?” I said. She came running down the beach toward us.

“You never told me about all the fiddler crabs, Blue Crabs, Etc that I had to deal with in the sand!” she yelled at us. “I thought for sure one was going to bite my butt!” I'm not sure if she ever went to the bathroom that weekend.

Looking for firewood: the fellows, being the macho men that they were, left to collect firewood. It was dark by now and we needed a fire. That task should be easy, right? They had been gone a while... we were wondering what had happened to them when we spotted them coming from the interior of the island.

Not much firewood I noticed.

The guys were laughing. The story goes they were walking all through the brush scouring for firewood (not seeing a tent in the distance). All of a sudden, a dog started barking and growling. The owner, not expecting to encounter anyone else on the island, threw open the tent flap to check on the dog. One small problem, the man and woman on the in the tent we're naked. And what made it worse was the bright light that was on inside the tent!

Oops!

So, you see folks, never assume anything. The guys are still laughing about that to this day.

Leaving the island: one minor problem- when we anchored the boat, we had not noticed how close we were to the shore so, when the tide turned, it left our boat high and dry. Great! We'd already collected all our gear, tent, food (junk food) and were ready to board. We put all the supplies on the sand, sat down, and stared at the boat. Did we look stupid or what? So, for the next four hours, we had to wait for the tide to come in so we could leave. So - four hours later - and with David carrying me to the boat through the jellyfish so I wouldn't get stung, we boarded.

I didn't even ask how many times he was stung... BUT I WAS FINE!

That was our last trip to Dewees Island to camp. Like I said before… I AM NOT A CAMPER! And that trip did not change my mind. So, if anyone mentions camping to me I think about all the “experiences” we had that weekend and how I'd much rather have the “experiences” of a comfortable, clean room where I can sit in bed watching TV, in the air conditioning, with a wonderful hot shower, hairdryer, and someone to clean up after me, and restaurants to cook all my meals...

Or, there is always room service.

Those memories of camping at Dewees were enough to last me a lifetime.

~ Jeannie Joyner