Let's A-Do the Twist!

Parents have the task of being parents from the birth of their children until they (the parents) pass away at a ripe old age. That’s the perfect order of things. The perfect order of things usually applies only to books and movies and imaginations. That being said – we must deal with the realities of everyday life as they occur. Those “realities” differ greatly with the age of our children.

The behavior of our children is foremost on our minds throughout their lives but it’s must important during their formative years. It is imperative during the early stages that we are responsible for the social education of children. I’m talking about the way they act in and around others when we are in public venues such as school, or theater, or church. We try to emphasize the need for stillness and quietness and attentiveness that society expects when attending those places.

While we parents are still learning all the nuances of public interaction, our children are paying attention to their own wants and desires and give little heed to what we are trying to teach them about those “nuances.”

Now that you are completely bored with what we who have children already know, let me tell you how the need for those perfect behaviors conflicted with our commitment to our choir on Sunday mornings.

Both Jeannie and I have sung in choir since we were in our mid-teens. That said, after our son John had graduated from the church nursery and was going to be attending “big” church, it was necessary to find a way to make sure that he had a place to sit where we could watch him during the services. He couldn’t stay in the choir loft for the lack of enough space for the singers much less a place for him to play while we were singing.

We finally decided that we would alternate Sundays sitting with John in the congregation so as to give him the needed example to show what was expected of him and how to behave when sitting there by himself at a later age. We approached our choir director with our decision. He was insistent that there must be another solution and made it his mission to convince us of that thought. The problem became known to others in the choir and resulted in the offer of the aid of the husband of one of the sopranos. She spoke to her husband and he agreed to be John’s “keeper” during the Sunday services. We were very happy and hopeful that this was the answer to our dilemma.

From the first Sunday after we allowed John to go with Mr. Tommy into the service without us, we were anxious to have the solution work for all of us. Luckily, all involved had had enough time up to this point to become friends. We were satisfied that Mr. Tommy could handle the situation without any problem. Our major concern dealt with the unknown factor – John. Each Sunday we paid more attention to the interaction between John and our friend than we did to the service.

Sunday after Sunday we watched as John settled in next to Mr. Tommy and went from wide awake to sleeping and snoring which would elicit chuckles from those around him until Tommy would give John a little poke in the ribs or shake his arm to rouse him from his slumber. (He hadn’t begun to appreciate preaching at that point.)

After service, we would collect John from Tommy’s care and try to admonish him for not realizing that his snoring might remind the pastor that his sermon might have had the same effect on some of the older parishioners. Tommy would jump to John’s defense and remind us that he was in good hands.

A few Sundays later, we were taken aback when we saw Tommy get up during the sermon and, with John in hand, leave the sanctuary. After service was over, we hurried to find them both to see what problem John had caused that led them to leave during the service. Tommy assured us that it was a simple trip to the restroom and we had no reason to fret. The explanation satisfied for the moment even though there seemed to be some secret that John and Mr. Tommy were sharing and keeping from John’s curious parents.

A number of Sundays passed before the same sort of incident reoccurred. This time, however, we were satisfied with the same explanation even though it was not offered. It became a real curiosity after several more weeks of the same event.

We were particularly interested when Tommy’s wife began to laugh when we expressed our concerns that we did not have all the facts. This became a dead give-a-way that there was much more to the story than we were being told. This time when we approached Mr. Tommy & John after church, it was obvious to Mr. Tommy that we were no longer satisfied with the previously stated reason for departing the service.

With a great deal of laughter, he imparted the truth to us... John had been used.

Mr. Tommy would pinch him on the leg, causing him to squirm, making it obvious to others that something was up. He would then lean over to John, whisper in his ear... and they would get up to leave the service. When pressed for the details of the whispered communication, we found out that John was being bribed to give Mr. Tommy a reason to depart.

It seems that all it took for John to become a willing participant was the offer of a hamburger, fries & Coke from the Burger King just a few blocks away. All of this so that Mr. Tommy wouldn’t be bored in church. John found great sport & joined the laughter when all of us knew then what had been going on.

The unfortunate upshot of all of this activity as relates to John’s younger brother, Brandon, was that he got to sit in church with John when he was old enough and they both behaved beautifully during the service. Brandon never received an offer of that kind of opportunity (aka “bribe”) for his good behavior.

Both John and Brandon learned and are still well-versed in how to behave. John does enjoy the telling of the tale and Brandon learned a few tricks from Mr. Tommy.

There are times now when I have to nudge John to wake him during service because he also sings in the choir; at least he’s closer now! (And sometimes he has to elbow me...) But, thank you, Lord, for a minister whose sermons are a pleasure to listen to