Prank You Very Much

Not unlike my parents before me who grew up in the 1950’s, I was part of a TV generation. While they grew up on I Love Lucy, Father Knows Best and Leave It To Beaver, my brother and I grew up on a steady diet of Quantum Leap, The Dukes of Hazzard and The A-Team. (There was also the occasional Circus of the Stars, but that’s for another time.) 

As a family, there were certain shows that we all gathered around the boob tube every week to watch; one of our favorites was TV's Bloopers & Practical Jokes. Dick Clark and Ed McMahon would leave their posts at The Tonight Show and American Bandstand and join forces to spread joy through pranks pulled on the sets that the shows of the day were filmed, sandwiched between bloopers from those same shows and news shows. Was it different than what had come before? Not really. Candid Camera aired years earlier. Punk’d would do it for years after. But this was just right for me.

I would, from then on, be a lover of pranks and, even now, can’t stop laughing at a flubbed line on the TV. 

When I was about 17, I went away to a five-week arts program for high schoolers called the South Carolina Governor’s School of the Arts. For over a month, in between my junior and senior years in grade school, I would move upstate to Furman University and be immersed in all forms of artistic endeavors, whether visual, theater or music. Rubbing elbows with singers and actors like myself was pretty magical and eye-opening. I still have friends from there to this day while others haven’t aged quite as well.

While we begged to be taken seriously as adult artistes, at night, the truths of our ages came to light. We were two to a room, sharing bunk beds. Even though our day-to-day “group” was spread over different rooms, we begged to be together. After hours, we would check the halls. If empty, we would quietly drag our mattresses to each other’s rooms and hang out overnight.

That is until the R.A. found us out. 

While a few jokes had been pulled out on each other - water replacing Sprite, unsweet switched for unsweet tea - they were tame. And… apparently all beverage-based in my memory. One night, we did what we often did, but the ending was much different. We had been warned to confine ourselves to our own rooms, right? Our R.A. took a lot of Saran Wrap, covered it in honey and pulled it tight as they taped it to our door frame. 

SPLAT!!!

Whenever we were trying to sneak back out to our rooms in the early hours of the morning, we were covered in all kinds of sticky. The cherry on top was that same R.A. turning the corner laughing and laughing after the prank paid off. We learned our lesson. And probably have a lifelong disdain for gooey substances. 

While my track record with pranks was spotty in the years following, I would eventually acquire a lifesize Ghostface replica. If you recall Ghostface was the iconic killer costume from the movie Scream. Needless to say, my parents weren’t thrilled with the new decoration. Every time we would walk in the house, greeted by Ghostface, we literally screamed. And not with excitement.

Halloween came and went that year, but Ghostface wasn’t done. You see, my family likes to scare each other. When I was young, my parents would jump out of my closet to frighten me. My brother would grab my feet from under my bed. I would duck underneath art tables and yell. All in good fun, of course.

Now, we had a nearly six-foot doll, serial killer, mock-up. 

The first time, he was hidden behind the front door. When I unlocked it and was face to face with him - or her depending on your fave original or sequel - I almost jumped out of my skin. The same happened when they moved him right in front of my bedroom door. On the flip-side, they probably didn’t love screaming when they found Ghostface in the pantry or their closet.

The piece de resistance came one evening when my parents were out late. They have a walk-in shower with mirrors on either wall of the washroom leading into this walk-in shower. When they tiredly dragged themselves to use the facilities, they were greeted with a knife-wielding psychopath. Now that I think of it, there’s not a better place to have the poop scared out of you. 

In the end, Ghostface ended up at our home’s front door. With each passing season and holiday, he would be adorned with the proper accoutrement. From hearts to bunny ears and Thanksgiving banners to Santa hats. Less scary now, eh? Well… a little bit. 

Were Dick and Ed best friends in real life? I honestly don’t know. I honestly don’t care. What I do know is that they are both up in Heaven Rockin’ at New Year’s and presenting angels with oversized checks. Most importantly, watching along with us at the relative expense of those that they’re pranking. Miracles can’t always work the first time, can they? Blooper on!